Here’s what bad pizza and the Timberwolves have in common

Ever been to Cici’s Pizza? If not, I want you to imagine what it would be like if you combined Taco Bell, Coldstone Creamery, Pizza Hut lunch buffet and Chuck E. Cheese into one awkward place. And I’m totally serious.This place has all kinds of pizza, from hawaiian to pepperoni, to taco pizza to buffalo chicken. They have breadsticks, dessert pizza, pasta and soda too. And they try to make it a fun atmosphere… there’s an arcade, the workers are really nice, and the prices are great. On top of that, the people in the “back of the house” have these little sayings they’ll bust out in unison, like when the cook says “Lemme hear you say cheese please!” when a new cheese pizza is added to the buffet line.

The only problem? The pizza sucks. Honestly, it’s terrible. Poor-quality toppings, scant cheese, cardboard crust and the feeling that they’re trying to trick you into coming back through the customer experience. Like maybe you’ll forget how below-average the food was and come back to see their smiling faces. I’ve got news for you, Cici’s: I won’t be back.

I know the metaphor isn’t entirely linear, but with new jerseys, rookie Jonny Flynn, a new head coach and GM, the Wolves sold more hope than they were FDIC-insured to handle. And now when I’m trying to cash in, there’s no money left in the bank.

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In light of last night’s horrible two-point home loss to the Grizzlies and my Wisconsin Badgers upsetting #5 Duke Wednesday, I’ve got an insane contradiction of feelings going on inside right now. I haven’t felt so upturned in months. How do you balance simultaneous apathy and jubilation?

I think I’m going to go cry awhile now. Be back tomorrow with a bigger, better post.